just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
