just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
