She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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