apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
