He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
