there's paper in my vomit.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
