What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
