And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
