Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
vagina is talking i cant
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think people are normalizing furries
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
