She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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