direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
