What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
