I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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