We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she told me i tasted like america
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
