I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
barbara walters just said penis...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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