Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
