lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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