Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
