found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
