That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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