is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
