my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I look better un-naked...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
