So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
