I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
