you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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