So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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