I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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