She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
