He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
