it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
