I looked at my own cervix.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
