Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
