why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize