Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
