We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
we're so committed to being not committed
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
