I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
