in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Iām glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
