i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
