Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
