just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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