It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
