Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
