there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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