I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
