Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
