There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
