so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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