That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
