There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
