Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
