sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
